Friday, October 24, 2003

Oh, No!

By now, everyone knows I like to fuck a lot of random men. On top of that, they know that I don't bother to change my panties in between!

I'm so embarassed! Why couldn't I wash myself between anonymous sexual partners? Why, oh why?

Oh, well. Kobe's still a nigger in Colorado, accused of raping a white chick. He's toast! Yea!

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Today's Tip!

This one is for all you mentally-imbalanced college hoochies out there (hi girls!):

Remember, when you're going to attempt suicide, be sure to OD from roofies shot out of a Daffy Duck pez dispenser. It's such a sassy move, it'll drive the guys in the ER wild! If you survive the attempt, you will have literally dozens of random orderlies to pick from!
I'm Busted!

Jesus! I mean, I wasn't exactly the tightest little girl in the Rockies before being banged by Kobe, but now I'm absolutely ruined. I'm all busted up inside!

What was I thinking when I consented to both vaginal and anal intercourse with a 6' 7" black guy? In a similar vein, what exactly was I thinking when I accused one of the most beloved sports figures in the world of being a mad-dog rapist?

Oh, well. I'm sure I'll be offered several million to pose for Playboy, and a few million more for the book deal, and at least six figures for my first nationally-broadcast interview with Barbara Walters. But, all I can think about right now is how goddamn tore up my private areas are! I'm busted!

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